http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/They say every person has a story to tell this is mine. I promise no happy ending, but I have never been called boring. Shall we dance?en-UKhttp://backend.userland.com/rss092http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/32/dfc397a9aee98a1bd393a4ef670edd_160x200.jpg <p>Have not blogged in so long it's nearly a tragedy! When last I was active really I had just begun my battle to quit trying to actively give myself cancer!<br> I am more than a year now without smokes. Still a brat, but I don't smell like cheap cigarettes anymore <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2007/01/06/gosh_its_been_a_long_time~1519578/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2007/01/06/gosh_its_been_a_long_time~1519578/Sat, 06 Jan 2007 01:33:41 +0100 <p>Have just finished reading this article and tears are running down my little cheeks. I am not allowed to share this with my husband because he has decided to be Cruise's one man fan club. You read and tell me if I am wrong to be weeping in laughter at the latest " I'm a dumbass" Cruise stunt. </p> <p>Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' decision to name their daughter "Suri" has linguists baffled, as there is no record of the name meaning "princess" in Hebrew.</p> <p>According to Hollywood.com, Hebrew linguist claim that Suri has only two meanings--one is a person from Syria and the other "go away" when addressed to a female.</p> <p>The name Suri may have descended from "Saray" ("Sure" in Yiddish) which was the original name of Abraham's wife, which went on to become Sarah. The name is also very close to permutations of "Suraya" which does in fact mean "Princess" in Farsi.</p> <p>Hebrew expert Jonathan Went said: "I think it's fair to say they have made a mistake here. There are variations of the way the Hebrew name for princess is spelled but I have never seen it this way." </p> <p>Suri also means "pointy nose" in some Indian dialects and "pickpocket" in Japanese. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2006/04/22/when_scientologists_go_bad_or_tom_cruise~748349/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2006/04/22/when_scientologists_go_bad_or_tom_cruise~748349/Sat, 22 Apr 2006 23:24:53 +0200 <p>First post in ages and I pinched it lol <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>The Rules:<br> 1. You can only say YES or NO!<br> 2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!</p> <p>Taken a picture naked? : - Yes<br> Made out with a member of the same sex? : - Yes<br> Danced in front of your mirror? : - Yes<br> Told a lie? : - Yes<br> Gotten in a car with people you just met?: - Yes<br> Been in a fist fight? : - Yes<br> Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? : - Yes<br> Been arrested? : - Yes<br> Left your house without telling your parents? : - Yes<br> Ditched school to do something more fun? : - Yes<br> Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? : - Yes<br> Seen someone die? : - Yes<br> Kissed a picture? : - Yes<br> Slept in until 3? : - No<br> Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? : - Yes<br> Played dress up? : - Yes<br> Fallen asleep at work/school? : - Yes<br> Felt an earthquake? : - No<br> Touched a snake? : - Yes<br> Ran a red light? : - Yes<br> Had detention? : - Yes<br> Been in a car accident? : - No<br> Pole danced? : - No<br> Been lost? : - Yes<br> Sang karaoke? : - Yes<br> Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? : - Yes<br> Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? : - No<br> Caught a snowflake on your tongue? : - Yes<br> Kissed in the rain? : - YES<br> Sang in the shower? : - Yes<br> Got your tongue stuck to a pole? : - No<br> Ever gone to school partially naked? : - No<br> Sat on a roof top? : - No<br> Played chicken? : - Yes<br> Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? : - Yes<br> Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? : - Yes<br> Broken a bone? : - No<br> Mooned/flashed someone? : - Yes<br> Forgotten someone's name? : - Yes<br> Slept naked? : - Yes<br> Blacked out from drinking? : - Yes<br> Played a prank on someone? : - Yes<br> Felt like killing someone? : - Yes<br> Made a parent cry? : - Yes<br> Cried over someone? : - Yes<br> Had sex more than 5 times in one day? : - Yes<br> Had/Have a dog? : - Yes<br> Been in a band? : - No<br> Drank 25 sodas in a day? : - No<br> Shot a gun? : - Yes </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2006/04/22/stolen_from_just_a_guy_who_stole_it_from~748052/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2006/04/22/stolen_from_just_a_guy_who_stole_it_from~748052/Sat, 22 Apr 2006 20:56:15 +0200 <p>MY KIND OF DOCTOR </p> <p>I DON'T KNOW WHAT DOCTOR WROTE THIS, BUT I LIKE HIM VERY VERY MUCH !! </p> <p>HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION </p> <p>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?</p> <p>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste<br> them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart<br> will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life<br> of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. </p> <p>---------------------------------</p> <p>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? </p> <p>A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and<br> corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an<br> efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?<br> Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy<br> vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily<br> allowance of vegetable products. </p> <p>---------------------------------</p> <p>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? </p> <p>A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that<br> means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of<br> the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! </p> <p>---------------------------------</p> <p>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? </p> <p>A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If<br> you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. </p> <p>---------------------------------</p> <p>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise<br> program? </p> <p>A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! </p> <p>---------------------------------</p> <p>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? </p> <p>A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.<br> In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad<br> for you? </p> <p>--------------------------------- </p> <p>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the<br> middle? </p> <p>A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should<br> only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. </p> <p>---------------------------------</p> <p>Q: Is chocolate bad for me? </p> <p>A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the<br> best feel-good food around! </p> <p>---------------------------------</p> <p>Q: Is swimming good for your figure? </p> <p>A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. </p> <p>---------------------------------</p> <p>Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? </p> <p>A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! </p> <p>---------------------------------</p> <p>Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about<br> food and diets. </p> <p>And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the<br> intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but<br> rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the<br> other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO,<br> What a Ride!" </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2006/01/27/my_favorite_doctor~509977/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2006/01/27/my_favorite_doctor~509977/Fri, 27 Jan 2006 10:18:57 +0100 <p>Well off to the inlaws for the holidays! i really miss writing and reading everyones stuff. I hope you are all well and have a yummy christmas! I look forward to catching up with everyone after christmas. have loads to tell, it's been prime time drama the last 2 months. so plenty of giggles at my expense soon i promise.<br> love and xmas kisses,<br> Tallulah </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/12/20/merry_christmas~401370/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/12/20/merry_christmas~401370/Tue, 20 Dec 2005 10:58:13 +0100 <p>i am amazed that i have made it this far. i really did not think i could do it. this is where having evil children has come in handy. they have kept me so busy that stopping to think about a fag has been impossible! almost all my christmas shopping is done and i have lost 7 pounds in the past 3 weeks so all in all not bad baby! hope everyone else is doing well. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/12/11/3_weeks_on_tuesday~377810/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/12/11/3_weeks_on_tuesday~377810/Sun, 11 Dec 2005 15:10:31 +0100 <p>This is my 5th thankgiving on this rock and i am finally going to get to celebrate one. it's just going to be a day late but no worries there. making big cinnamon apple pie later for tomorrow and going to try and watch it's a wonderful life as my holiday season is offically started.<br> Right now, down to business. What I am thankful for, top of my list I am thankful the george bush can not be re-elected and do further damage to the world as a whole, that i have a family in britian that i love and adore. i am thankful that i have gone more than 24 hrs without a cigarette, i am thankful that i have not actually killed any of my teenagers. and most of all thankful that i have some mates on here who i can always get a giggle from and who put up with all my drama and bad behaviour. Thank you all. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/11/24/happy_thanksgiving_all~333593/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/11/24/happy_thanksgiving_all~333593/Thu, 24 Nov 2005 11:46:21 +0100 <p>okay so had my last one last night, and woke up this morning put on my patch and felt really woozy. cat napped alot of the day because i was afraid of being awake... good plan but sleeping for next 3 months is not very practical is it. have to come up with an activity when i am consumed by the want of a fag. and my best mate who smokes like a human chimney is doing a no fly zone because it will be hard for me.. so i am now alone, without smokes, and my brain feels funky..when does this stop? and more than anything i am so worried i am going to eat my way thru wales...my ass can not afford to expand. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/11/23/20_hours_no_smokes~332374/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/11/23/20_hours_no_smokes~332374/Wed, 23 Nov 2005 20:51:43 +0100 <p>hey yall, how goes it? oh the drama, where to begin...well the last month has not been my best. had brest cancer scare, spent a week in hospital, been diagnosed with something not at all nice, and my car died, and...my daughter has decided that she is old enough to have sex. so my cup has just runneth over. where is my sheik to take me away from all this. and quitting smoking has failed spectacularly and i am typing with fag happily in my mouth. i know i'm bad, blah, blah, blah. on the upsideher vicship is doing thanksgiving dinner for me on friday which will be lovely, but as she is a veggie no turkey <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"><br> where the hell is my sheik???? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/11/22/long_time_no_blog~327396/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/11/22/long_time_no_blog~327396/Tue, 22 Nov 2005 01:02:29 +0100 <p>Well after due thought, and massive panic attacks I am quitting smoking. god please keep me from killing the people i live with, they are annoying now, with out fags i could actually kill them. it's very scary but it's become more painful to keep smoking than to quit. I am spending stupid amounts of money doing it and i have this cough that just won't go away. so fuck it, into the deepend and just swim. can't be that hard, i live with teenagers.<br> 6pm i shall start the road to healing, and possibly prison lol. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/25/this_is_gonna_be_bad~260304/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/25/this_is_gonna_be_bad~260304/Tue, 25 Oct 2005 14:19:14 +0200 <p>Well I am the owner of the happiest birthday boy ever. Gone are the days of peace and quiet, replaced by much trash talking while killing the baddies on spiderman on his new playstation 2. Much love and kisses for the ps2 but it comes with unending carnage. Off for massive munchies so we don't die of starvation before the spideyathon <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/24/the_happiest_8_year_old_ever~258711/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/24/the_happiest_8_year_old_ever~258711/Mon, 24 Oct 2005 19:05:25 +0200 <p><a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/t/tallulahstales/img/lol.jpg" title=""><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/t/tallulahstales/img/lol_small.jpg" border="0" alt=""></a></p> <p>This is how I feel today, crappy weather and my big fat ass are not making for a happy day. I'm a diabetic in denial acording to my evil doctor.<br> I have been diabetic since i was about 20, it affects my kidneys the worst. I was put on a course of steroids a few months ago and poof from size 10 to size 100 in just a few months.<br> I think had I just been getting gradually bigger it would not bother me. But all the meds, and being in and out of hospital, and this stupid weather is getting the better of me.<br> Hope everyone is having a groovy day. I am off for another injection and an outing with all the evil children...Pray for me <img src="/img/smilies/icon_cry.gif" alt=":'(" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/23/happy_sunday_blah_blah_blah~255838/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/23/happy_sunday_blah_blah_blah~255838/Sun, 23 Oct 2005 16:17:09 +0200 <p>What an evening, went to annes for jambalya night. she and the other god botherers were there defenseless against the onslaught of Rachel and I. Our powers of sin did not let us down and within an hour we had the 5 future female vicars to be discussing threesomes, why men who try to supress women are assholes and picking apart the arguments in favor of zoe and her celibacy thing. Some of our finest work to date I think. Being future vics they tend to be quite churchy, which in small doses is okay. but an entire evening of god and saving my soul would have made me itch. i think they love how badly behaved we are because they by rights are really not in a posistion to be bad very often. So really our sinning for them is a public service I think. Zoe really liked my article on the pope, no editing at all. Quite proud of that, then the final nail in the coffin was when some one who is quite appalling was brought up and none of the vicars could figure out why this evil and not very attractive woman had managed to bag a hottie. I put it down to swallowing lol. I know bad me, but I'd bet money on the fact that she does. Whic naturally led to great to swallow or not to swallow debate. I voted against under any circumstances you could think of. one or two of the vics were cagey though so i think there is a story there <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/22/had_cajun_night_at_the_vicship_s_house~252320/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/22/had_cajun_night_at_the_vicship_s_house~252320/Sat, 22 Oct 2005 00:09:58 +0200 <p>Seven things I want to do:</p> <p>1. Accept that I am becoming my mom.<br> 2. Do a roadtrip to moscow.<br> 3. Teach my kids to ALWAYS love themselves.<br> 4. Get stoned and look at the northern lights.<br> 5. Shop at Harrods without worrying about what I spend.<br> 6. See America with Max<br> 7. Quit smoking.</p> <p>Seven things I can do:</p> <p>1. Charm the socks off almost anyone.<br> 2. Embarass my teenagers.<br> 3. Drive my mom crazy, even at 37.<br> 4. Listen.<br> 5. Be stupid with my kids.<br> 6. Make the perfect sandwich.<br> 7. Lie incredibly well in an emergency</p> <p>Seven things I can't do:</p> <p>1. Have blonde hair, tried once it went orange after three bleaches all i got was orange.<br> 2. Say no to cheesecake<br> 3. Tolerate stupidity.<br> 4. Pluck my eyebrows, have to wax.<br> 5. Rollerskate.<br> 7. Eat steak and kidney pie.<br> 8. Dive<br> Seven things that attract me to the opposite/same sex:</p> <p>1. Ice blue eyes<br> 2. Their own home, car, and bank account.<br> 3. Good dancer<br> 4. Warmth<br> 5. Boyish charm<br> 6. Letting me be me<br> 7. Brains</p> <p>Seven things I say most:</p> <p>1. Hoe (only to Rachel)<br> 2. Blah, blah, blah<br> 3. Stop fighting<br> 4. I'm gonna choke your face(they never actually believe me though <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"><br> 5. I love you<br> 6. Dirty martini please.<br> 7. Someone please deport me.</p> <p>Seven celebrity crushes:</p> <p>1. Jeremy Clarkson I know, I can't actually help it.)<br> 2. 50 Cent<br> 3. Stephen Fry<br> 4. Samuel L. Jackson<br> 5. Slash<br> 6. John Cusak<br> 7. John Travolta </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/18/quiz_stoeln_from_helly_who_stole_it_from~244324/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/18/quiz_stoeln_from_helly_who_stole_it_from~244324/Tue, 18 Oct 2005 23:54:02 +0200 <p>Don't know what it is but I have been really down for what feels like ages now. Can't seem to shake my rainy day mood. Got Max the play station 2 yesterday. He is turning eight a week monday and this was all he wanted. According to him I need never buy him anything again if he gets it. so I have of course convinced him that he is getting anything but it lol. see when I tell Max no he goes into negotiation mode. It's outstanding how he tries to bargin, he won't walk away from the table without winning. which I admire to no end. And though he is mot my biological son if I loved this kid anymore then I do I think my heart would burst. He soaks up all my worst habits, copys everything I say which is very bad lol. yesterday while fighting with his 12 year old sister he told her " to check herself before she wrecks herself". okay so I teach him ghetto slang, but in my defense he does sound really cute when he says it. If you ask him what he's doing he gives you a smile that melt you and says "Chillin' like a villian baby" And he has learned to play poker like a pro in only six months. i know it sounds bad but these are life lessons i learned that actually came in handy. he went trough this period where he had sticky fingers and getting him tounderstand that stealing is bad was very hard. He really didn't want to know, thankfully he was not good at it at all. I managed to catch him everytime,and the worst part was he didn't even pinch good stuff lol. it was rubbish stationary supplies from school. I made him bring them back and confess, figuring that would crush it right there. not my boy, he bounced right back and pinched magnets a week later. So this time it was manual labor weekend so he could get a taste of what life was going to be like for him prison. I was sure this was it. But no, once more he stepped into the underworld. This was his biggest score, a stapler, ruler, and pad from my friends house. I started to wonder if he had some underground Office World business going on. It seems he is just obsessed with stationary. ironicly he hates to write lol. What worked in the end was that only in an emergency if he stuck somewhere with nothing to his name and stranded in nebraska is he allowed to pinch anything. And he has been crime free ever since. As long as I never allow him in nebraska ever, ever we should be fine. I still have him penciled in the future felons book, that way I remember to frisk him from time to time just incase.<img src="/img/smilies/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/17/pity_party_table_for_one_please~239460/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/17/pity_party_table_for_one_please~239460/Mon, 17 Oct 2005 00:43:22 +0200 <p>have a peek...<a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/t/tallulahstales/img/ADBerro.jpg" title=""><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/t/tallulahstales/img/ADBerro_small.jpg" border="0" alt=""></a></p> <p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/t/tallulahstales/img/inkblot0003.jpg" border="0" alt=""> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/15/what_do_you_see~235543/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/15/what_do_you_see~235543/Sat, 15 Oct 2005 01:26:43 +0200 <p>Don't go too fast today boys and girls, you might miss something.</p> <p>He was a very special warm and gentle person<br> Who put in music in the world and spoken in rhyme<br> And it hurts me that I never really knew him<br> because all it would have taken was some time</p> <p>You know he always seemed to be there when I stumbled<br> And when mountains got to steep for me to climb<br> And it tears me up to think I never touched him<br> because all it would have taken was some time</p> <p>Ain’t that just the way that life goes<br> Down, down, down, down<br> Movin’ way too fast or much too slow<br> Gettin’ up, gettin’ high, gettin’ down<br> Gettin’ no, no, nowhere<br> But not gettin’ into someone I should know</p> <p>Now he’s in another place and I can’t reach him<br> And I feel as though I’m guilty of a crime<br> I took all he had to give and gave him nothin’<br> And all it would have taken was some time</p> <p>Ain’t that just the way that life goes<br> Down, down, down, down<br> Movin’ way too fast or much too slow<br> Gettin’ up, gettin’ high, gettin’ down<br> Gettin’ no, no, nowhere<br> But not gettin’ into someone I should know</p> <p>Ain’t that just the way that life goes<br> Down, down, down, down<br> Movin’ way too fast or much too slow<br> Gettin’ up, gettin’ high, gettin’ down<br> Gettin’ no, no, nowhere<br> But not gettin’ into someone I should know</p> <p>Gettin’ up, gettin’ high, gettin’ down<br> Gettin’ no, no, nowhere<br> Gettin’ up, gettin’ high, gettin’ down<br> Gettin’ no, no, nowhere<br> Gettin’ up, gettin’ high, gettin’ down<br> Gettin’ no, no, nowhere<br> Gettin’ up, gettin’ high, gettin’ down<br> Gettin’ no, no, nowhere</p> <p>Ain’t that just the way that life goes<br> Down, down, down, down<br> Movin’ way too fast or much too slow<br> Gettin’ up, gettin’ high, gettin’ down<br> Gettin’ no, no, nowhere<br> But not gettin’ into someone I should know</p> <p>Ain’t that just the way that life goes<br> Down, down, down, down<br> Movin’ way too fast or much too slow </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/12/song_to_ponder~229748/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/12/song_to_ponder~229748/Wed, 12 Oct 2005 09:19:06 +0200 <p>Mobile phones are the work of the Devil <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Who is it that you want to speak to while you are choosing between garden peas and sprouts in the produce section of tescos? the answer is no one, but we all get to do it because we all willingly carry these little babies and it means your boss can track and reach you 24 hours a day, never a good idea. your teenagers fighting over the last bag of crips, something you don't really need to know yet they now can ring you while you are escaping to involve you in the great crisp war of 2005, to ask why there is nothing to eat, why can't they have any money, blah, blah, blah. I remember my father giving me this life talk when i was about 10 and he had clearly been high. among his list of things i must never forget, which i haven't was never ever write anything incriminating down. yet i have countless aquaintences who think who i'll have a bit on the side, no harm no foul. and how do they liase with the flavor of the month? through text and email. which often is stumbled upon by people they don't want to se it, like the wife, or husband. my children, lights of my life, and the bane of my existence are amazed that we somehow grew up and had a life at 14 without msn messenger, mobile phones, mp3 players and the many other things they can't bear to be without. the kicker is the 8 year old little girl who lives acros the street form me. she has a contract phone! who are you calling and texting at 8? are you checking your pretend stocks, maybe making an imaginary mortgage payment? where did barbie go? and an after school game of kickball which decided the neighborhood champions of the week? gone are the days of forts, hideouts, even hide and seek. we don't have kids anymore, just little techno babies who think they are 40 when infact they are just 8. when did being 8 become a bad thing? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/11/when_i_was_your_age_now_i_understand~228909/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/11/when_i_was_your_age_now_i_understand~228909/Tue, 11 Oct 2005 18:36:25 +0200 <p>BEIJING, China (Sept 17, 2005) - By AUDRA ANG, Associated Press Writer. </p> <p>Laugh all you want, say public hygiene experts at the World Toilet Summit, but the importance of "loos" you can use is no joke.</p> <p>The three-day event, which began Wednesday in Beijing, is an international commode conference. Some 150 scholars, toilet designers and environmentalists from 19 countries gathered to exchange ideas on topics such as the latest toilet technologies, lavatory management tips and the relationship between toilets and tourism development.</p> <p><strong>"People are saying 'We want good toilets!'</strong> because toilets are a basic human right and that basic human right has been neglected," said Jack Sim, founder of the World Toilet Organization, a co-sponsor of the summit.</p> <p>China, known for fetid public toilets that often are little more than open trenches, is eager to show off its advances while preparing for the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Delegates to the conference are to be taken on a tour of new and renovated public toilets in Beijing.</p> <p>But with a packed conference schedule of slide shows, lectures and question-and-answer sessions, there was very little room for humor.</p> <p>"You can laugh at it for a short time," said Sim, whose group is based in the hyper-clean island nation of Singapore. "But after a few seconds, you should start to pay serious attention to the subject" that affects your quality of life.</p> <p>The convention is in its fourth year, with Singapore, Seoul and Taipei as previous hosts. Participants this year came from countries as far away as Finland, Japan and the United States.</p> <p>Photos of showcase lavatories were also displayed at the conference, from a ladybug-shaped one in a public garden to another modeled after a grass hut in a wildlife park. Facilities with baby-changing stations, wheelchair ramps and gleaming white ceramic urinals were also featured.</p> <p>"New public toilets are an important symbol to demonstrate the development of the city," said Liang Guangsheng, deputy director of Beijing's Municipal Administrative Committee.</p> <p>In the past three years, Beijing has spent $29 million on building or renovating 747 restrooms at tourist spots, according to the city government.</p> <p>"The toilets are sanitary, convenient and private," Yu Changjiang, director general of the city's tourism bureau said. The city also aims to make them suitable for users of all ages, for the disabled, and energy and water-efficient.</p> <p>"People settle for good food, good clothes and good living conditions without paying enough attention to the toilet," Yu said. "Toilet issues are a very important symbol of people's quality of life."</p> <p>The city has come up with a rating system of one to four stars for its public wash rooms, reportedly based on such criteria as granite floors, remote-sensor flushes, automatic hand-driers and piped-in music.</p> <p>The capital now has 88 four-star lavatories, 161 that qualify for three stars, 312 for two and 110 for one. Countless others, are perhaps best not mentioned.</p> <p>Maintenance is as important as construction, said Simon Tay, one of the speakers at the summit.</p> <p>"It's something that China needs to think about," said Tay, chairman of Singapore's National Environment Agency, a government organization. "I hate the word luxury toilet because really good toilets should be an everyday common thing. It doesn't have to look like the Shangri-La toilet ... in order for it to be something that we can be proud of."</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/11/china_on_the_verge_of_olympic_toilets_ca~227677/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/11/china_on_the_verge_of_olympic_toilets_ca~227677/Tue, 11 Oct 2005 00:43:29 +0200 <p>right a bit of a serious note from me. Not my usual I know. I have a friend who is the editor of a newspaper. we got into this discussion at a garden party over the summer about religion. I was the lone catholic amongst a sea of anglicans and various other faiths. We were discussing the new pope and they asked my thoughts. when we were leaving Zoe asked me to write an articel on my thoughts and how I felt about it. I have finished it and would like an opinion and if possible a title ( minds gone blank). Thanks so much <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> I suspect most Catholics were hoping that our new Pope had big feet, because he has very big shoes to fill. Pope John Paul was an actor before he gave his life to God, so charm and charisma was not an area he lacked in. He had the ability to be exceptionally conservative and staunch without offending the majority. For me as a little catholic I fell in love with his blue eyes and smile, I remember looking at his face and thinking how nice it was. Church was something I looked forward to and got so much from. As I got older I drifted as so many do through my teen years. </p> <p> It just seemed to be something that sort of faded away, but my love for God and the Pope always stayed. Even when I really disagreed with the policies I still kept my faith in what I believed was basically a good and kind man. But now in my late 30’s my view has moved beyond blue eyes and a nice face. With my catholic eyes I see the people of Africa dying in their millions due to a disease which is easily avoided. I see families who are barely making it with a seemingly unending amount of kids because the Holy Father has deemed birth control a sin.</p> <p> I have known and lost more people than I care to count who have are living with HIV and aids who find no comfort in their church because our leader thinks and I quote “Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered to an intrinsic moral evil, and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder."<br> -- from Ratzingers "Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons," 1986, as reported by National Catholic Reporter.</p> <p> I am sure that Mary Magdalene and the many others Jesus befriended and counselled were eternally grateful that he was not as particular about those he associated with like our church is. I have to be honest with you I was hoping that we would have had our first Black or Latino Pope. Someone from Africa, which has become the largest growing population of Catholics in the world today. Or from South America, these are areas that are both hugely catholic and also very familiar with the real problems we face today. Not the price of petrol or council tax is too high type problems. They live with severe poverty, famine, disease, and human rights issues that we only see on the news.<br> I want a pope who acknowledges women and our roles we have to play in the world. Holy Father we are capable of so much more than you give us credit for. And surprisingly our only role in life is not to produce babies and cook a good Sunday lunch. There are women out here that have a hunger to serve god and their community, who can fill the role of a priest and guide a parish just as well as a man. To keep us in the shadows and put men above us is not actually your job anymore. That post became surplus to requirements a long time ago. I want a pope who will not shun me because I am aware of a condom and use one.</p> <p> Things will not be easy as the Pope attempts to lead Catholics deeply split between those who want the church to maintain its traditional practices, such as retaining an all-male, celibate priesthood, and those who say the church needs to change to reflect the way they live today and allow contraception and the ordination of women. Many say that Pope John Paul gave the Catholics its best bit of public relations when he apologized to the Jews for our eyes closed policy during the holocaust. He acknowledged the guilt we would have to bear for these actions.<br> The new pope has his own view on guilt. “Being incapable of acknowledging guilt is the most dangerous form of spiritually arrested development one can imagine, because this in particular makes people incapable of improvement.” Benedict XVI</p> <p> Yet we seem to have no guilt over the lives lost due to policies that are outdated and no longer apply in any way to today’s catholic. Now to those of you who find comfort in this new leader, I envy you. But I also worry for you, because I may seem like just another disenchanted catholic who has clearly lost her way. But I am also a catholic who has sat with people while they died of aids, who has known people who’ve lost their family to starvation, who lost the church and all it gave them because they had an abortion and told their priest. Yet all is not lost for us, because though we may go against the grain in the Vatican there are those of us who still believe in only one judge. And I have to believe that he loves all of us, even a mouthy little American like me. May God bless you all, even the enforcer.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/10/could_use_a_bit_of_help~225760/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/10/could_use_a_bit_of_help~225760/Mon, 10 Oct 2005 01:35:28 +0200 <p>Channeling your inner cheerleader</p> <p>To see a cheerleader in your dream, represents competition and triumph. Your dream may be telling you to offer more praise and encouragement toward others. </p> <p>To dream that you are a cheerleader, signifies your self-confidence and self-esteem. You need to be more active and more positive in some waking situation in your life.<br> <a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/t/tallulahstales/img/cheerleader-btch.jpg" title=""><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/t/tallulahstales/img/cheerleader-btch_small.jpg" border="0" alt=""></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/08/just_for_you_you_know_who_you_are~222424/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/08/just_for_you_you_know_who_you_are~222424/Sat, 08 Oct 2005 01:20:05 +0200 <p><a href="http://www.getlippy.com/play/quizzes/vainquiz/">http://www.getlippy.com/play/quizzes/vainquiz/</a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/08/it_gets_worse~222406/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/08/it_gets_worse~222406/Sat, 08 Oct 2005 00:55:56 +0200 <p><a href="http://www.usagiandmamoru.com/quiz/woman.html">http://www.usagiandmamoru.com/quiz/woman.html</a></p> <p>okay but i am "shallow as dew" according to rachel so i had to find the right quiz. so fancy seeing if you have the royal touch? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/07/quiz_time~222337/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/07/quiz_time~222337/Fri, 07 Oct 2005 23:56:42 +0200 <p>Was talking to my best friend today who like my husband says I am evil because I was a cheerleader. It's so unfair! We bearers of the pom poms pay a heavy price for being both prettiest girls in school AND incredibly cheery. We try to make the uncool kids who don't fit in anywhere at least have a squad they can be proud of. So on behalf of cheerleaders past, present, and future I think it only fair that we finally be given the recognition we deserve!</p> <p>10. All other Olympic Sports could have their own Official Cheerleaders.<br> 9. It could be a coed sport.<br> 8. There would never be a shortage of judges. Most men would kill for this job.<br> 7. Language shouldn't be problem, how many ways can you say "Go Team Go"?<br> 6. There would never be a need to drug test, Cheerleaders are always smiling.<br> 5. Rich countries wouldn't have an advantage, how many uniforms does a squad need?<br> 4. It's easier to spell than gymnastics.<br> 3. It could go either way, Winter or Summer.<br> 2. No special equipment is needed, just give them some ground.<br> 1. Pom Poms are cheaper than pole vaults. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/07/top_ten_reasons_why_cheerleading_should_~220566/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/07/top_ten_reasons_why_cheerleading_should_~220566/Fri, 07 Oct 2005 00:19:09 +0200 <p>Incase you are curious and no doubt you are lol, I spent this evening "walking thru the new testament". hard to explain but I shall try <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><br> my best friend is rachel who happens to be my husband exwife. has to be everymans worst fear. he calls us his bitch and ex bitch lol. well rachels mum anne who i adore is in god bothering school studying to become a vicar. and they are doing a three part new testament thing. this was class 2, basically he goes through the new testament but puts it across in a way that does not actually put you to sleep. and you use different hand gestures and phrase to remember and learn it. now anne, bernie's former mother inlaw has adopted me really. she actually threw our wedding for us as my family could not be here. it's quite clever how i took a family that never really got on and brought them all back together because of me lol. anyway no one else is foolish enough to god bother with her so i do it. and i am scared of her which helps lol. no she really is wonderful to me and a very good friend so a night every other week is not a lot to give in my opinion. and its really been nice to kind of bring god back into my life. i was sure the first time i went with her the bible was going burst into flames. after all i had been a wanton woman, and would god really want me the woman who was paid £500 to spend an hour with an incredibly handsome man who was dressed as Bo Peep? thats another story all together lol. but it was really weird because it seemed that everything this guy said tonight was stuff I knew I needed to hear if that makes any sense. and as we were having coffee i heard these two people discussing having to go to a catholic church on sunday. now i was raised in an incredibly catholic evrioment. I had really thought till i hit 15 that i wanted to be a nun , i hear you giggling <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> at 15 father murphy came to our school and i started going to confession 5 times a day just to kneel in front of him lol. yes i know i am bad. now i am not a practicing catholic and have not been for quite a while, however no one should trash anothers religous views in my opinion. especially if you are planning on working for god. so i marched my fat ass over and very diplomaticly pointed out that has god bothers they really should come to terms with the fact that they have to bother all gods children and not just the ones they deem worthy of their presence. they were a bt taken aback i think by having some gobby american telling them how they should be lol. that in itself made the church areobics more rewarding. but i still think that if you work in the name of god you simply have to where a protestant sweater with a fab catholic hat, and some kicky baptist heels or you are just part of the problem and not the solution. i love being a former cheerleader because with it comes the ability to relate every problem to a fashion crisis resolved lol <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><br> What do you think boys and girls? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/05/just_got_back_from_my_jesus_areobics~218710/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/05/just_got_back_from_my_jesus_areobics~218710/Wed, 05 Oct 2005 23:54:18 +0200 <p>why is it a bad thing that i want to put the sisters of darkness aka my daughters on ebay?</p> <p>just did my monthly gas mask visit into abies room. inbred west virgina coal mining familys live cleaner than my abie. as i rounded up a months worth of cups and plates from her penicillin lab known as her bedroom, i found yet another Thong!!! she can't grasp that i have issues with her ass floss at 14. and the great part is she really is too stupid to think hmm maybe i should hide these. no abs believes she lives in a 4 star hotel with maid service.. yet another garment that sadly will be eaten by the wahing machine. the great thing about not bitching to her about it is that she can at no time come and inquire as to the whereabouts of her thongs, the cleavge tops of which there seems to be no end and her denim belt which tries to pretend to be a skirt. i thnk i'll make her sprouts tonight just to round out my happiness today <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/04/todays_question_is~215993/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/04/todays_question_is~215993/Tue, 04 Oct 2005 15:44:47 +0200 <p>i now have a really obnoxious bird living in the back yard...it sounds like a disney bird that did a runner from snow white. 4:22 am i was awoken to really loud tweeting. and bernie in his sleep seemed to be answering back with very odd body noises. i don't do nature in a big way. i much prefer the sound of traffic which doesn't wake me at 4:22 am!!!!! well i put my big fat foot in it last night. when i got home last night bernie was playing civilization 3 quite happily. could i leave well enough alone? of course not. if i did that i might be considered smart which clearly i chose as not an option. instead i went the why are'nt you talking to me route. never a good road but i love it just the same. i decided to moan because everytime i mentioned something he'd just nod his head. which caused my head to spin. at the end of it i stomped up the steps and bernie who then decided to speak asked very sweetly what the f*** he did now. i said something very girly and got ready for bed. but in making my dramatic very justified exit i forgot to bring my smokes and drink.. anyone else suffer the humiliation of having to go back because you forgot something? it takes all of the drama out of the moment. on a lighter note gareth.."the saddest man ever" was brilliant last night. he spoke at trevors meeting and he was fab. very funny, and a really good talk on procrastination which i am sure god had him do just for me.. it's my worst fault. that and being evil to bernie. must make him coffee and give him kisses now...cya!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/04/title~215653/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/04/title~215653/Tue, 04 Oct 2005 12:41:25 +0200 <p>Well my man, the love of my life, my rock, my pain in the ass has found out about my blog..lol he has visions of me saying evil things and has threatened me with a slander suit lol. i know he's itching to find it but yea for me he is shit at searching. and i am starting to think he has bribed that damn bird to live in our yard because it is tweeting nonstop. i don't know if birds go into heat but thats what it's sounding like. i am trying to think of a way to cheer abi up at the moment. she is bernie's 14 year old daughter and she has just been dumped by her first boyfriend.. it's so hard to explain that this is the first of many boys she will like. first love is so real, you have no previous experience to tell you the pain doesn't last. communication is not easy because she is 14 and brain damage which will probably go away when she is 25 has set in big time.. usually she is just vile, but her little heart is all stepped on by "adam he is just my friend". thats what we call him because if you say boyfriend she reminds you in an evil fashion he is my friend. and i at 37 am decaying and too old to understand. she is in the "paint my room black, death is fab" gothic stage. she got bored last month and painted black teardrops on her face. she is just getting to the point where its okay for her to be pretty.. for a while she went for the ugly as possible look. but all the fight is out of her right now..so like a good mommy we will spend this coming weekend watching slasher films and eating stuff that will expand my ass even wider. cheesecakes really could heal the world, of this i am sure! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/04/title~215123/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/04/title~215123/Tue, 04 Oct 2005 00:36:54 +0200 <p>I just finished this article on the joys of being a domestic goddess and providing for your man, blah, blah. now don't get me wrong, taking care of your partner is what we should do. you should take care of each other naturally if it's a healthy (if such a thing exsists) relationship. however to assume that i will is a fatal mistake. I am all up for some of the rules...<br> I never clean or do anything domestic unless i have an audience.. and when anyone offers help i simply say "it's okay, i don't mind really". And then every once in a while I do the random sigh to no one in particular. i find hoovering only rewarding when i know the evil teenagers who live in my home are around. they of course return my serve of evilness by pretending that the phone is just a big earring when i am using it. no chance that i may be speaking to someone, it's just an earring. And taking care of bernie is fab because every once in a while he get's comfy, and i if feeling particularly eveil go on a sort of domestic strike. he then realises how amazing I am and we bargin with handbags..Gucci last time!</p> <p>I am very grateful that what attracted bernie to me still does.. he loves that i am incredibly badly behaved, i flirt outrageously, can drink like a rugby team, 15 years as a bartender you learn some things. And if i suddenly got quiet and all devoted i think he would fear for his life lol. When we first met he asked me what i was like.. i said " i require lot's of entertaining, and i think the least a man can do is be decorative or what is he there for?" And he kissed me, very well. and thankfully still does. so screw the rules and point me to the handbags please! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/03/domestic_goddess_rules~213640/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/03/domestic_goddess_rules~213640/Mon, 03 Oct 2005 10:35:22 +0200 <p>I am a bad tv addict. I am currently trying to justify watching pete and jordans show.. it so awful it's compelling. i have been trying to think of anyone more stupid or pointless then these two love birds who seem to share one brain cell on alternate tuesdays with paris hilton, my american answer to pete and jordan.<br> i am just wondering what happened to peter andre as a child that he decided being jordans gimp was a good plan. he was sitting there with his new hair extensions explaining how he feels so much more a man now. how is this possible? maybe it's just me... personally i like a man who is gonna grab me by the back of my hair and take care of business. he somehow does not seem up to the job. anyway i digress, what i really want to know is why i choose to watch people who truely irritate me lol. i think it's really because i know my husband hates these shows with the intensity of a 1000 hot suns lol. and by watching them and driving him mad i am doing my job as a woman! I am too good really! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/02/it_s_soooo_bad_but_i_can_t_stop~213268/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tallulahstales.blog.co.uk/2005/10/02/it_s_soooo_bad_but_i_can_t_stop~213268/Sun, 02 Oct 2005 23:47:10 +0200